how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize