Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
