Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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