your thong is hanging out like whoa
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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