dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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