You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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