mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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