u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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