i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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