It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize