so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
