I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car