Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?