Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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