So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im holly from the hills drunk
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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