I love black thongs
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
