Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it