It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
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Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
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I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.