Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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