if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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