What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize