The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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