one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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