I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dear god my vagina.
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