its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The air was thick with penises
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
