you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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