I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize