the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize