I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize