How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
