Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
