So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
