u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
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He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
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He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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