nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
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Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
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She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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