If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
