Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
