shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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