they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize