if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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