And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....