here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.