I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
