it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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