No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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