What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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