she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
