Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
