Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
