So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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