Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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