I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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