She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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