I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize